


Save A Space For Me

by LadyFangs



Category: The Expanse (TV), The Expanse Series - James S. A. Corey
Genre: Angst, Breakup, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 19:43:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20747711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyFangs/pseuds/LadyFangs
Summary: “You look like shit, Miller.” Reluctantly, she allows him in and he staggers to her couch before promptly collapsing on it, his long legs splayed out in front of him.“You’ve been drinking, again.” It’s not so much a question than a statement. Joe takes off his coat and balls it into a makeshift pillow, putting it behind his neck as he lays back. She sighs, arms crossed and shakes her head.“Love you too, babe. Glad you saved a space for me,” He tells her, drowsily, before nodding off.





	Save A Space For Me

“So, what happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

The Midtown-level restaurant is sparse at this time of day. Of course, here, on Ceres, it’s always day. The station gave up on artificial light a few years after its establishment. No point in it, when the sky is always black. Right now, it feels to Octavia that’s just her mood of late. Black.

“You look awful, you know.”

“Thanks. Like I need that.”

“You know what I mean. Come on, what was it? Did he cheat?”

She’s lost her appetite by now, not as if she really had one in the first place, but still, this is a conversation she really doesn’t want to have right now. The wound is still open, the scars, still fresh, and her friend is being unhelpful at the moment.

“No,” Octavia says, wiping her mouth with her napkin before setting it down, leaning back in her chair, and taking a sip of the wine in the glass in her hand. “He didn’t cheat.”

“Damn, I thought for sure that was it, a man like that…” At the angry glare she’s getting from Octavia, Shae holds up her hands.

“Sorry! Just saying. He didn’t exactly scream ‘loyal boyfriend’.”

“He didn’t cheat on me,” Octavia repeats quietly. “It wasn’t that.”

“Then what was it? Why’d you two break up? Not going to lie, he wasn’t exactly on my list of top picks for you, but…” Shae rolls her eyes and sighs… “I mean, at least you weren’t like this.” She gestures to Octavia.

“Like what?” Octavia crosses her arms.

“Oh stop it. You miss that asshole, and you know it. Want me to throw him out an airlock?”

“No!”

Shae laughs, then grows serious and leans into the table.

“What happened, Tavi? For real. You say he didn’t cheat. Then what did he do? Because even after your other breakups, you were never like this. And I’m getting worried. You’ve barely eaten. And you’re working yourself to death. That _cannot _be easy. So…?”

“It’s complicated.”

“It always is. Talk to me, Tavi. I’m your sister, we’ve been best friends since forever, and all you ever talked about was ‘Joe this’ and ‘Joe that’ until you weren’t speaking his name anymore.”

“I don’t really know what happened,” she whispers, eyes downcast. “It was perfect…and then…one day, it wasn’t. I just felt him…start pulling away, and I tried--,” she hears her voice shake, and draws a deep breath. “I tried everything. I tried to pretend it was okay, fix it when it wasn’t, I tried to make him happy…but I couldn’t. He wasn’t. And,” a sigh. “I got sick and tired of trying. So, that’s what happened.”

“And you’re sure he wasn’t cheating?”

“Joe is a lot of things,” Octavia says, firmer now as she looks her friend in the eye. “But I know he would NEVER cheat on me.”

She’s done talking now. “I have to get back to work. I’ll see you later.” With that, Octavia gets up and gives her friend a brief hug before leaving the restaurant.

.

.

It turns out to be a very, very long day. Two big busts of illegal gambling houses ended up breaking one of her long-unsolved murder cases, and that—coupled with a foot chase on the mezzanine and the thrill of finally catching the perpetrators, had given her a major rush. There was booking, interrogation, and a mound of paperwork, and after it all, that rush has given way to exhaustion. All Octavia is looking forward to at the moment is a glass of wine and some sleep.

It felt good, though, to finally get a win after what feels like a never-ending onslaught of losing. She’s had breakups before, some really bad…but this…

Get over it, Muss. She tells herself for the thousandth time. Still, it niggles. What happened? For the life of her, cannot place it, can’t figure it, can’t say what the breaking point was, it just…

“Long day?”

The low, deep voice shocks her out of her thoughts and she turns suddenly, clutching her chest, before lashing out angrily.

“Joe?! What the hell are you doing, here? Hiding in the dark! I could have shot you!”

“But you didn’t.” He steps out of the shadow and under the light next to her door, the warm yellow illuminating his face. He looks different, she thinks. Thinner. More worn. And there wasn’t much on him to begin with.

For the life of her, she doesn’t understand why all this happened to begin with.

.

.

“Really, Tavi?” Shea had whispered to her at an early dinner party with friends and family. Joe hadn’t wanted to come, but she’d insisted and bless him, he’d done his level best—even dressing up in a better suit and plastering on a smile, for her. She was the social one, he wasn’t. But the smile never reached his eyes, and by then, she knew the signs of when he felt uncomfortable. Hands in pockets, a beer in hand gripped as if he was holding on to it for his life.

He offered kind words, but they came out gruff, and she could see the dynamics around her changing. As the evening wore on, Joe retreated further and further to the corners, and her friends and family slipped further and further away from him.

It had made her angry and embarrassed and hurt all at once. That her people could be so cruel. The mistake was obvious. She never should have brought him here.

Shae had been the final straw, though?

“I mean…there’s a reason, right? There’s always a reason. Maybe you’re going through an early mid-life crisis…” she tried to justify Octavia’s actions, oblivious to Octavia’s quiet seething. “Oh! He’s got a big dick, right? Right?! That must be it! Oooh, Tavi…”

“Just stop.” She couldn’t take it anymore. Couldn’t take the judging stares, the looks of pity, the haughtiness.

Shea’s mouth was open, mid-sentence, as Octavia left her and walked over to Joe, slipping her hand through his, and tilting her chin up to face him as he looked down at her.

“I’m ready to go,” she declared, and together, they left.

Neither spoke on the way home. Not until they’d entered his loft, and the door slid closed behind them. Only then, did she dare to even look him in the face.

“I’m sorry, for that.”

“No matter,” he’d smiled slightly, but it was tight as he shrugged his coat off. “I’m used to it. My ex-wife’s family hated me, too.”

“Joe…” she could hear the pleading in her voice, hated it sounded that way.

“It’s okay, Tavi,” he said, coming to give her a hug, squeezing her tightly and planting a kiss on her forehead.

“One day, you’ll realize they’re right.”

.

.

“You look like shit, Miller.”

Reluctantly, she allows him in and he staggers to her couch before promptly collapsing on it, his long legs splayed out in front of him.

“You’ve been drinking, again.”

It’s not so much a question than a statement. Joe takes off his coat and balls it into a makeshift pillow, putting it behind his neck as he lays back.

She sighs, arms crossed and shakes her head.

“Love you too, babe. Glad you saved a space for me,” He tells her, drowsily, before nodding off.

For the first time, Octavia realizes she’s not as broken as she thought. Cracked, for sure. But not broken. She realizes she can heal. Put herself back together.

Joe, though…

This gives her a new resolve. She sees clearly what she didn’t before. That he’s too far gone for anyone to save. Now she knows she’s got no choice but to move on. She won’t let him drag her down, too.


End file.
